Less F*^ks

Taking Less F*^cks

If you have been following me on TikTok, you know that I’ve been thinking about giving and taking less fucks. Giving less fucks to others and taking less fucks from the world…what do I mean?

When we say “I wanna give less fucks” we really mean, I wanna take less of what’s going on around me as something I see as “F-ed up.” I want to be less “fed up.” I want to feel less stung by life.

There are many things that I am enraged about and that I have dedicated my life to changing such as racism, classism, sexism, heteronormativity, gender binarism, and capitalism. To do that work, I need to allocate my fucks wisely.

I give less fucks to the day-to-day by seeing less things as slights and by feeling less snubbed. Also, by taking less personally, taking the “me” out of the equation. And by seeing things that sting as systemic, as bigger than me and bigger than the person or entity that is stinging me. I realize that others are on a journey that is their own path with their own problems. I may bear the brunt of their own uncomfortable growth and development, but I won’t let it define my existence. I won’t let it destabilize me as I struggle to better my world.

Giving Less F*^cks

By virtue of this, I strive to give less fucks. But now I’m talking about giving for reals…giving to others. I give less fucks to others by giving people the grace and chance to take less fucks from the world around them. I do this with three strategies.

Number one: compassion. I think of their growth and really empathize with them. I try to understand what could be happening that’s making them feel how they do. I ask myself if I have experienced that too. I think of ways to help them take less F’s in their present situation.

Number two: consideration. I show them the consideration of listening and speaking to them slowly with all my attention. I model that consideration and then give them the words to do it themselves, so they can learn how to take less and empathetically process more.

Number three: complementarity (a.k.a. complementary, 100%-free of charge giving). I give to them for their sake, freely with no hopes of gain. Unconditional giving is key to showing others their infinite worth and our infinite love for them. When they have felt that feeling of being listened to and cared for without an emotional transaction or demand of return, they will be better able to take less F’s from their life. And they will know how to give less F’s all around.

Previous
Previous

Potentially…Part 1

Next
Next

The Elixir of Life