Homing In on Your Environment

A Healthy Home Base

I have spent the last week and a half at home nursing myself and my family from a series of illnesses that have hit us hard. In my tiny stolen moments of reflection, I have thought about what makes my home a place of health. What makes it the one place in the world we all want to be when we’re totally down and unable to power up? Why does it feel so right when every breath and move is labored? How does it nurture us so that we can nurture each other back to health?

If you ask the different members of my family these questions they will all answer with their own truths. I asked my 3-year-old in toddler terms and he said it’s because all his toys are here. He can play anything he wants with his brothers. He doesn’t need to go elsewhere to find the people he loves most or the things he loves most to do—all good priorities for a 3-year-old.

For me, it’s also about having the people I share my home with be those whom I trust and love with all my heart. I grew up living with family members with severe mental illness and substance abuse, so I empathize with people living in situations where a household is a place of love but not trust. We can’t choose our family and many of us have to work hard to make our grownup home a place that breeds trust. But it is an ideal that we must strive for. Having home be a place of trust and love makes it one where you can relax, be yourself, and slow down when you need to. It makes it that sanctuary that all humans need.

Hitting the Home Button

Home is also a good metaphor for that core part of your internal mental-emotional machinery or system that you go to when you need to reflect and refocus before you react. Like the old home buttons on our phones, our internal “home button” can take us a step back from the moment and into our gallery of options for dealing with a situation and responding to it. Being able to stop, take a step back, and hit my internal home button helps me to make good decisions and take actions that I can stand by later down the line.

The stressors of our environments are constantly challenging us, and it always seems like those environments are becoming more and more stressful. That is why it is more important to me to think of my home button, that home away from home that keeps me centered on my values and my ideals. Breathing space into moments, literally stepping away from a situation, saying I need to use the bathroom or get a drink of water so I can center myself—these are all ways to give myself a moment to go home, get love, get trust, and empower myself. My home is where my heart is, so I do what I need to hit my home button and nurture myself so that I can show up for others in a way that is meaningful and healthy to them and to me.